I had a hard time concentrating the rest of the afternoon so I double checked each scrip I filled to cover myself. As the day grew on a little Dianna guilt began to creep in. I convinced myself that if I fulfilled this one fantasy, an experienced older woman, I might be ready for a commitment again. My defense was shaky, but my cock was semi-hard all afternoon.At 6 o'clock I left and drove home, passing number 10 Easton on the way, to case her home I guess. What would I say when I got there? Would she greet me and jump my bones? Would she be nude in the kitchen? Had I assumed too much and she just wanted an ear to listen to her problems? By the time I got home I was only 80-20 on even showing up because of doubts in my mind, but as soon as dusk fell I was in the shower and out putting on fresh underwear, a crisp shirt and jeans with my favorite cologne. Optimistically I put 3 condoms in the pocket of my shirt and was off to park near Kennedy High.I walked, unnoticed, the half block to. Full of myself at 17, I thought I knew everything, I knew nothing. Only, I wanted to know her. I loved her, wanted her, and needed her in my life. Yet, from fear of rejection, I could not even approach her. Instead, I dated her best friend, Arlene. I hoped, perhaps, by dating her friend, my daily interaction with one brought me closer to the other, somehow, and in some small way. It was a convoluted attempt to win her affection. I was pathetic. Still, we hung out together, double dated, and even attended the prom together. Not at all fair to Arlene, all the while and every night, I drifted away with Aileen in my thoughts. In my dreams, my pillow became her lips. At night and every night, while I dreamt my dreams of her and of passion, she was mine. I watched my friends, lesser lads than me in every way, date her for a time until, one by one, she cast them away. It appeared no man satisfied her. Then, in ’70, Arlene and I announced our engagement. We were with a group of friends who.
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